Friday, December 4, 2009

Sample ladies

Why do we feel the need to offer hope to the sample ladies at Costco? Is it because their outfits are so pretty and their hairnets so sexy? Or are we actually planning to purchase the free food we just scarfed down not a minute earlier. Maybe we would have considered purchasing the spinach mozarella noodle thing but now that we've just had one, we're kinda good. Still, we feel like a giant dummy if we stuff our face and then just walk away, which is why we engage in the following polite behavior....

1. Wave and point. We wave and point and say things like "wow, these are delicious" followed by a brilliant question concerning the name of the product or its price even though both are clearly displayed. All this is done of course while kinda walking away.

2. Munch and Nod. We do both while looking around at everyone as if to say "you really should buy some of these" (even though we clearly aren't going to)

3. Walk and mutter. After finishing our sample we exit the danger zone while saying just loud enough for the host to hear"we should pick up a couple packs of those."

4. Lie and release. We actually ask for a box of the product then turn down the next aisle and release it into the freezer and/or shelf space.

5. Second swoop. This last thing isn't actually all that polite. In this case we love the product but are too cheap to buy it so we actually return to the host asking for a second sample "for my brother." (who lives in South Carolina, shhh)

As much polite fun as the above is, I say lets throw caution to the wind this holiday season and reward these beautiful hosts with a purchase. If you're brave you can even say something like "To be honest, I'm usually a freeloading pig when it comes to these things but what the heck, its Christmas, I'll take 2."

John

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

sooo...your saying i shouldn't take my family there for lunch?

Nic said...

that is one of the most awkward social situations i can think of.
costco is terrifying.